Need sex. Gaining weight.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
