i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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