sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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