I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
