I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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