Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
