I wannas sexs uuuuu
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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