So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
