now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
My ass is underappreciated
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
