So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize