never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Randomize
