The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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