I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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