Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
