i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I need to wash the frat house off of me
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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