is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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