Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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