i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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