Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Two words: blizzard sex
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
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