So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
