...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
