so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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