I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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