anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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