am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
