U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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