just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
