You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
