Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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