the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
