Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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