No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
