you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
