my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
