We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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