Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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