that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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