guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
