just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
