windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Pooping to opera.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
