my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
