I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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