I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
