I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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