i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
