I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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