I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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