drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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