Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
