Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
