you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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