You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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