you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
