i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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