love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
