Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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